Moochoo's the name! Alliteration is the game!
And I'm here to cause you pain with my incessent ramble
Did I mention Latitude disappoints me, it's about time Melvin took a gamble
C'mon book Bobby Wyatt, Tom Waits too, as long as it suits me I don't really care about you
Super, sexy, spontaneous, sublime, spunky, sets and sounds should fill Henham Park, instead what do we get? Paulo Nutini getting to play just as it gets dark.
Oh Jon Dunn and Melvin you really let me down, If only you'd let me book a stage I'd have really gone to town.
There'd be Tim Hecker and Cardiacs and Current 93, and I realise no-ones heard of these apart from good ol' me.
But who really cares when it would be vital, vivacious, vavavoom and virtually empty
An audience of me and my hate and the doctor, that sounds plenty
Oh crikey look at the time I have some marking to do, I really shouldn't be spending another 3 hours writing this post for you
On a forum of a festival I've not been to for two years, yet if they closed it down I'm pretty sure I'd cry tears.
'Cos I love you all really, each and every one. Come run away with me grouchland and Nico let me do you up the bum.
And as for me and Hoppo well you know we love to flirt, and if ever we should both go to Latitude again I'd love to roll around in the dirt, with Hoppo underneath me, caressing me so, with The Fall playing in front of us, I'd go baby go.
Right I really should go now, I've got lots to do, so its over and out from me, Simon Moochoo.
 

 
Sunrise arena; happy demeanor
awaiting Cat's Eyes, chatting to nice guys
end of the day, feet in pain
"That cat's something I can't explaaaaaaain !"

INSTIGATE MASTURBATE
 
Mass debate in the Literature Tent featuring Danni UK Uncut
Masturbate in the portaloo featuring  Danni UK Uncut
I'm uncut in the portaloo
I'm uncut in the Literature Tent
I'm uncut in the UK
David Davis and Liz Jones really got under my skin.
 

I MET THOMAS OPPE
 
I met Thomas Oppe at Latitude on the weekend
It made my life
If he was a girl I'd want him to be my wife
But he's not so I'm happy to have him as a cyber friend.

maddix85


I MET THOMAS OPPE

I met Thomas Oppe at Latitude on the weekend
It made my life
If he was a girl I'd want him to be my wife
But he's not so I'm happy to have him as a cyber friend.

Brilliant

Walking around the woods, I see a tee
It's triangular design looking at me
Of course it's Dams, don't you bet
At long last, we have met.
 
 
 

Glasser it was, when it occured
another ingredient in the pot had been stirred
"are you Will ?" I did hear
out of no where, Thomas did appear
 

Watching Jonny on the Lake Stage
I see a hat, with which my conscience does engage
"you're Jan Maddix" is what I say
I'm actually surprised he didn't tell me to go away
 
 

bored of all these now. someone start the 2012 thread so we can talk about whether girls aloud would be good for the festival or not please

WE PACKED UP THE CAR, AND STUCK OPEN A TINNIE
POPPED ON THE MIX CD AND BLASTED OUT SOLJA BOI'S 'GULLY'
TURNED UP AND SET UP CAMP NEXT TO THE CONSTANTLY DEFLATING SKY ARTS TESTICLE
FELT AN URGE FOR RICHMONDS SAUSAGES COOKED IN BEER, WHAT A SPECTACLE! 
SOON FELT DARK FROM SAID MEAL
GOT A GOOD 4 FLAPS, NARROWLY AVOIDING SHATTING IN THE FIELD
RETURNED TO A BEER BONG, BUT FILLED IT WITH RUM
I'M SURE MY FRIEND'S BONG INDUCED COMA WAS LITTLE TO NO FUN!
WENT FOR A LITTLE DANCE, ON A PRO PLUS HIGH
TURNS OUT IT WAS PAP SO WE SAID GOODBYE
RETURNED TO OUR TENTS WITH INTENTIONS OF SLUMBER
BUT INSTEAD WE ****ED OF 4AM FRANCIS WITH STUPID NOISES AND JOYOUS LAUGHTER 
 
 

ate some noodles that made me feel quesy
so i head back to the tent
but...
festival wanks are not so easy...
as...
sleeping in the same sleeping bag makes me feel sleazy....
so....
i go to watch some **** poetry, i mean some truly **** poetry.
 

I travelled by Coach to a festival in Suffolk,
Mumford and Sons didn't play, so people were heavily disappointed,
But hey, Vaccines are there, no need to sulk,
Even if the mosh pit left people a little disjointed.

Stuck 2 malted milks up my bum for a dare,
Beware. They don't belong up there. Beware.

I think tintin should put these poems through a speech synthesizer and put them over his chillwave noodlings. That would be really good and you could play it at Latitude 2012. Thanks.

<3

I soooooooooooooooo wasn't joking you know. Thought about doing it myself but y'know...laziness.

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.
Tangerine, Tangerine, Tangerine.
Tuborg, Tuborg, Tuborg.
(imagine a strong yorkshire voice for the next bit to work)
T'arena, T'arena, T'arena.
(the poem changes a bit now, and i'm gonna shout a bit, but don't worry the repetition you've got used to will be back in a line or two)
I LIKED THE POETS TILL THEY PUT THAT **** 6TH FORM RAPPER AND BEAT BOXER ON.
This, this, this.
Is, is, is.
A, a, a.
Proper, proper, proper.
Poem, poem, poem.
Take That.
Soldier A & Intensi-T
 
hope you like it. The brackets are little Tim Key'esque asides.
 
edit: Soldier A and Intensi-T may not actually have been on till friday or saturday. But that's the nature of poetic license isn't it?

quite possibly latitude forums finest moment...
 
favourite one is maddix's where i get mentioned (shameless ego, me) but really all good stuff, incredible really
 
annie make this one a sticky so everybody knows where the bench mark is at...

bump

on thursday an attempt was made, to pitch my canvas tent -
however my plan was scrambled, by a broken wooden length -
so out came that wallet of mine, to purchase another fine home -
only to find that the new, was bent out of shape  and not suited - to containing this boys sleepy time
 
(true story, I wasted money on that damn tent, for it to brake only moments after being put up, however, I did continue to sleep in it, and get soaking wet, more fool am I!)